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14 October 2010 10:04:52 PM UTC in Hindi Jokes and Shayari

Stale Hindi Jokes


Stale Hindi Jokes as the name implies is a collection of age hold yet evergreen jokes in Hindi which everyone must have heard many times and some of them are so stale that one will know the joke even by reading the first few word.

Stale Hindi Jokes Pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai?
Santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diy

Boy: tumhaara naam kya hai?
Girl: sab mujhe 'behan' bulaate hai
Boy: wah, mujhe sab 'jeeja' bulaate hai

1st behra scooter khinch ke leja raha tha
2nd behra-kya hua petrol katam ho gayi kya?
1st behra-nahi yaar, petrol khatam ho gayi
2nd behra- acha mujeh laga petrol khatam ho gayi.


Ram: jab bhi meri biwi se jagda hoti hai to main ghar ke kuye ko bandh kar deta hoo.
Shyam: kyu? tumhaari biwi usme kood jaayegi kya?
Ram: nahi re. woh mujhe kuye ke andar giraa degi, isiliye

Maa: pappu ko kutte ne kaata kya? jaldi doctor ke paas le chalo
Ramu: lekin woh kutta to kabkaa bhaag chukaa hai


1st wife: suna ke tumhaara pati kue gir ke mar gaye.
2nd wife: haa behan
1st wife: ab tum kya kar rahi ho?
2nd wife: kue ka pani chodke nal ki pani se kaam chalaa rahi hoo
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:10:32 PM UTC

 

Hindi Jokes Dukhaanwaala in ICU: beta, mujhe dekhne kaun kaun aaya hai?
His son: pappa, family ke sab log yaha hai.
Dukhaanwaala: gadha, agar sab log yaha hai, to dukhaan mein kaun hai?


Baap: exam kaise rahaa?
beta: bahut mushkil tha. koi bhi question mujhe nahi pataa tha.
baap: toh likhaa kya tune?
beta: paper khaali to nahi chod sakta hoo na. isliye sab questions ka answers diya, jo unhe pataa nahi hoga


graahak: kaunsaa soap achcha hai?
dukhaanwala: dettol hai
graahak: to, aap usme apna haath do ke mujhe 2 kilo chaawal deejiye


Shyam: maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500 rupaye mein kiya.
Ram: woh kaise?
Shyam: maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya. usne love marriage karliya.


Bhagwan: hum tumhaare tapasya se prasanna hue. 2 vardhaan maang lo.
Bhakt: pehle vardhaan yeh hai ke, mujhe neend mein hee marna hai
Bhagwan: thataastu, doosra kya hai?
Bhakt: doosra yeh hai ke, mujhe kabhi neend nahi aani chaahiye.


Boy: hey bhagwan, maine kabhi galat kaam nahi kiya hai. phir bhi mujhe koi ladki pyar nahi karti hai?
Bhagwan: bhakt, sajjano ke saath hamesha achcha hi hota hai. un mein se yeh bhi ek hai. santusht raho
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:10:10 PM UTC

 

Average Hindi Jokes Customer: aap har somvaar hotel ko chutti kyu dete ho?
Hotelwaala: kyunki hafte me us din hee hum saare bartan saaf karte hai


Customer: Bhaisaab, ek cup chaai dena.
Hotelwaala: kaunsa doo sir? special ya ordinary?
Customer: dono me kya farakh hai?
Hotelwaala: cup saaf karke doo, to special. aise hee doo to ordinary


ek baar phir pappu fail ho gaya aur uske pitaa use daant rahe the,
pitaji: padosi ladki ko dekho, woh first class mein pass hui hai aur tum ho, besharam
pappu: hamesha usi ko dekh rahaa tha, isiliye fail ho gaya


dadaji: raju, tumhaari teacher aa rahi hai. jaake chup jaao
raju: oh! pehle aap jaake chup jaao.
dadaji: kyu?
raju: kyunki kal maine aapka guzar jaane kaa bahaane karke chutti liyaa thaa


gusse se customer: waiter!! soup laate waqt toone usme apna ungli kyu daalaa tha?
waiter: no problem sir!! soup zyaada garam nahi hai


Boy: maine nayaa mobile khareeda hai.
Girl: chalo, mujhe party dhilaao
Party ke baad,
Girl: party ke liye paise kahaa se laaye?
Boy: nayaa phone khareeda tha na, use bhech diya
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:09:49 PM UTC

 

Stale Jokes in Hindi TEACHER : PAPPU, map pe India ko pehchaano.
PAPPU : yeh raha!
TEACHER : Sahi hai. ab bachcho, India ko kisne aavishkar kiya
Class: Pappu


Student: sirji, yeh kya hai?
Sirji: Question Paper.
Student: aur yeh kya hai?
Sirji: answer paper
Student: kya naa insaafi hai. question paper mein question hai, par answer paper mein answer nahi hai :-(

Doctor: tumhe 20 stitches daalni hogi.
Patient: teek hai, lekin stitches ka design achchi rehni chaahiye.


Patient1: tumhe kaise pata chala ke waha nakli doctor hai.
Patient2: uska handwriting bahut achchi hai yaar, toh wah kaise doctor hoga.


Patient: Doctorji, ek baat mein aap bahut lucky ho.
Doctor: woh kaunsi baat hai?
Patient: agar aapko kuch ho gaya to aapka operation aapko nahi karni padegi. to aap lucky ho na.

Doctor: yeh tonic hai. roz 4 teaspoons lena.
Patient: lekin mere ghar mein sirf 1 hi teaspoon hai doctor


Santa: mera brush kyu aisa hai? tune kuch kiya kya?
Beta: kuch nahi kiya pappa. sirf tommy ka daant saaf kiya :-)
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:09:27 PM UTC

 

Stupid Hindi Jokes Ram scooterwaale se: tumhe teek se signal dena aata nahi hai kya?
Scooterwaala: kyu?
Ram: pehle left signal diye aur baad me right de rahe ho, lekin seede hi jaa rahe ho.
Scooterwaala: arey bhai, mujhe seedhe jaana tha. lekin galti se left signal kiya. phir use cancel karne ke liye right signal diya. to sahi kiya na?


Ramu: tumhe kaisa pata chalaa ke woh nakli doctor hai?
Shyamu: usne stitches daalne ke liye tailor ke pass beja


Teacher: 1 apple ko 4 log kaise khaayenge?
Student: muh se


Teacher: sher ko dekhke kaun nahi daregaa?
Student: doosraa sher


Teacher: bachcho ab main is keede ko is alcohol ke bottle mein daal rahi hoo. bolo kya hua?
Student: keedaa mar gaya madam.
Teacher: isse tumhe kya gyaan milta hai?
Student: yehi ke agar hum alcohol piyenge to hamaare pet jo keede hai, woh mar jaayenge

Student: is book mein itne saare scientist aur unke number dee hai. kaise yaad rakhu sir?

bahut mushkil hai
Teacher: itna bhi mushkil nahi hai. kyunki woh telephone directory hai.


TEACHER : PAPPU, "I" se ek vaakya banaao.
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : nahi PAPPU, hamesha "I am." se shuru karo
PAPPU : Teek hai teacher, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:08:49 PM UTC

 

Stale Hindi Jokes Customer: Koi ladkiwaali mobile dikhaaoji?
Dukhaandhaar: ladkiwaali mobile kya hai?
Customer: wahi yaar, jisme sirf missed calls jaate hai!!!!


sweety: pappa, dekho mere jokes newspaper print huaa hai :-)
pappa: arey, yeh kya kee hai? koi dekhegaa to hasegaa beti


pappu ro rahaa tha. tab banta ne poocha: Kyu ro rahe ho?
pappu: mere pappa ne kele pe pair rakh ke gir pade
banta: ro mat. pappa ko kuch nahi huaa na. phir bhi itnaa kyu ro rahe ho?
pappu: mere paas sirf ek hi kelaa tha :-(

pappu: pappa...pappa... mujhe baansuri dilaao na. seekhloonga.
pappu ke pappa: nahi beta... har waqt baansuri bajaate tum ghar mein sabko disturb karoge
pappu: nahi pappa. ghar mein sab log sone ke baad hi main baansuri bajaana shuru karungaa


Paper ka headline: Ek bhaag ne raju ko maar diyaa
Reason: Raju ne bhaag ko dekhkhe bola thaa "Kitnaa badaa billi hai!!!!"

Hotel ka maalik apni waiter se: kaam ke waqt kahaa jaa rahe ho?
waiter: kuch nahi sir, kisi achche hotel mein naashtaa karne jaa rahaa hoo. 10 minute mein aa jaaunga.

Salesman: sir, yeh kapda super quality ka hai. kabhi phategaa nahi.
Customer: tab mujhe kaise 1 meter cut karke doge. mujhe nahi chaahiye chodo.
By (anonymous)
on 14 October 2010 10:05:49 PM UTC

 
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