Office Jokes

Office Jokes
At my annual appraisal at work, my boss commented you give 100 per cent commitment every week. I was really pleased until he continued "15% Monday, 20% Tuesday, 35% Wednesday, 25% Thursday and 5% Friday.


My boss called me into his office the other day and asked why I had failed to finish a particular job on time. I said to him " You know where the train stops?"


"Yes the train station" he replied "And you know where the bus stops"?. "Yes " the bus station but I fail to see.... "Well" I interupted " You know I have a workstation ........
My boss told me the other day that I must love my work because he reckons that I can just sit looking at it for ages


A Company director was giving a speech to thank Bert for his 38 years service. He said "Bert is a man who doesn't know the meaning of words like lunch break or impossible task. This is why we have all put in to buy him a dictionary as a
leaving present.

Office Boss Jokes
Driving home one evening, my boss called me and informed me that he had
promoted me. The surprise caused me to swerve the car. A few minutes later, he
called again to say that he was making me vice-president of the company. The
shock caused me to swerve the car more than previously. A further five minutes
on, he calls me again to say that he wants me to become president. The shock
causes me to completely lose control of the car and I hit a lamp post.
When the police arrived and asked what caused the accident I replied "Don’t
know, I just careered off the road".


My boss called me into his office the other day and asked me if I believed that
there was life after death.
I replied "Yes, I think that there is".
" I thought so " said my boss "Because yesterday, minutes after you took the
afternoon off to attend your Grandpa's funeral, he popped by to see you".

The Boss
“Garry, It’s the 5th time you’re late to work this week!”, blasted the Boss, ”Do you know what that means?”
“Probably that it’s Friday..?”