Hindi SMS Messages

Sweet Hindi SMS
Wo maza..
Na takht me,Na taj me
Na puri dunia k raz me
Na sur me,Na saz me
Na Kuber k khazane me
Jo maza he subah uthkar phir se so jane me.

Nice Hindi SMS
1st friend: teri pa keyse vanga hai?
2nd friend: maine cigarette phel dia tha manhole par.
1st: toh pa keyse vanga?
2nd: meri habit hai ki pa se agun nivana iss lyee…


Boss:tum kaysa ghore par baazi dhora hai dekho wo to sabki piche par hai.
Pappu: Sir, wo to ghora nahi hai wo to ek lion hai dekhna jara wo sabko pita raha hai.



Judge: tum kasam kar vi sach nahi bolte ho.
Chor: sir meine koi jhut nahi bolte hu. Maine chori nahi kyaa.
Judge: to tum kyea karti thi?
Chor: meine dakayti karti thi.



:dekh to Ledu mera inn aur mera tie thik hai ki nahi?
:Ye hero, tumhare shasur ki station paya kaya.
:ek minute jara baal par Gel de di.



Ek police ne ek admi ko pakda aur bola
: 50 Rs. Bar kar..
: sir paysa to nahi hai, aap mera mobile se aapki personal baate 2 min karo jara.



Ek driver ne bar bar break mar rahi hai.
:keya hua vai bar bar break mar rahe hai kiun?
:driver ko pasand ki khana hai chatpati bar bar break marne se wo mishal ho rahi hai.

Hindi SMS
Do friend ke bich baat ho raha tha.
1st: meri mama ki itni bari karai tha jo math par rakhta tha, aur uski pani pe swim karna jata tha.
2nd:mere mama koiek so mann ki ek fish dhora tha aur woh randh kar gram par sabko khane diatha.
1st:kyeaa bolti tu? Itni bari fish kaha randha gaya?
2nd:kiun, teri mama ki karai par.





Saloon par ek barbar aur ek aadmi par baat ho rahi thi-
Admi: kiun itni chaha rahe ho? Meri mathe par to baal nahi tha.
Barbar: apki baal katne kar paysa nahi chaha rahe hu main apki mathe par baal khojne par jo samay jaya uski paysa cha raha hu.




Ek hotel par ek akarshania ads dea tha. “ Aap khake jao. Bill apki nati-natni se leya hoga”.
Ye dekh kar ek log nachte nachte uha gaya aur shis bajata bajata bahar a raha tha.
Ye dekh kar-
Manager: vai, aap bill nahi de kar chala jata hai kiun?
Admi:kiun bill to meri nati dega!!
Manager:are vai, meine to aapki bill nahi chahta hai meine aapki nati aur natni ki bill chahta hu.




1st friend: janta hai,maine us din bazi dhor kar 49 ande kha dya.
2nd friend: aur ek kha lya to 50 hota.
1st friend: tune mujhko keya Rakshas raha hai.



Judge: tumne chori kyaa hai ye bariwala sakshi hai.
Chor: maine vi 1000 sakshi le ana parunga jo
Mujhko chori karne waqt nahi dekha tha.




Ek kue ki paas khare ho kar ek admi gin raha hai “bis’ ‘bis”
Ye dekhne baad ek uski friend aya aur bola kya gin rahe ho? Aur wo usko dhakka mar kar kue par phela dia aur ginte raha “Ekush’ Ekush”.




Do friend alaap kar raha tha..
1st: mere lion se mokabila ka baat tumse kia hai?
2nd: nahi tune nahi kia.
1st:meine ekdam ekela haat me vi kuch nahi tha.
2nd: tarpor.
1st: Bandor dekhne samne ki khancha par gaya.



Do friend ek moto byke par ja raha tha….
1st: itne jor se nahi chalana vai mere voi lagti hai.
2nd:mere tarah tum vi aankhe band kar, aur dekhna voi nahi lag raha hai.

Funny and Comedy Hindi SMS Jokes
Admi:chawal ki dam din din barta raha hai magar admi ki daam kiun nahi barta hai?
Dusri admi:aadmi to chawal ki tarah dami nahi hai !



Do log baat karte hai.
1st:kiun tuu ayse batha hai aur wo form kiun nahi puran kar nahi raha hai..
2nd:pehle to form le ana parega…



:wo pati aur patni ke bich jayada mill hai.
:keysa?
:jemon-dono donoko doubt karti hai.
:aur…
:dono donoko dekhna nahi chahta hai.



:tum mujhko saadi karlo maine tumare chote chote issa puran karunga.
:aur bare bare issaoki kyaa hoga? Us lyee kyaa aur kisiko dhundna hoga?




:kyaa tumhare bibi tumko bohut shasan karte hai?
:mene jisko bibiko janta hu wo uske tarah nahi hai…



:ab chacha bohut chahne par shanty paya.
:kya hua? Kab mara wo?
:na na. wo nahi mar gaya chachi ne.



Do friend alaap kar rahe hai..
1st: tu janta hai meri mama ki bari me ek itni bari goal ghar hai ke,ek paas se ek sota garu ki bache ne doura to laut ane se balad ho jata hai.
2nd:mere mama ki bari me itni bari bash hota hai ki akash ki saman hai.
1st:keya bolti tu? Itni bari baas kaha rakhti hai?
2nd:kiun terei mama ki goal ghar me.




1st friend: teri exam kaysa hua?
2nd friend: nahi bolo uske bare me, blank khata dia ayaa.
1st: tune ye kaya kar di yaar,sir to sochega hum dono copy kia. Meine vi to blank khata joma dia.




Ek lion ko raste me sota hua dekh kar ek jackel ne bola
:mama keya hua yha kiun sota hai?
:paa par guli laga hai.
:haramjada, guli laga to kyaa hua iss liee raste par sone hoga!!!



1st friend: do no. way par bohotse log paysa kamana parta hai,magar sache path par vi bohotsi paysa kamana jata hai.
2nd friend: Rastata keyaa?
1st friend: iss samay khayal nahi ata hai.



Aadmi: mujhko ek current novel dena jara…
Dokandar: ye hai Electronics welding Shiksha. Ye sabse jayada chal rahi hai.

Hindi SMS
Porosh se ek ladka aya ek house par
:khalamma jara darja kholna.
:maf karo vangti nahi hai..
 
Keya kar raha ho tum? Kitne busy tum ho? Alpo,naki jayada? Alpo hole sms kiun nahi karta? Aur besi hole sms kiun nahi parta?


Meine ek khuni hu,maine paysa ke lyee khun karta hum agar tum to meri friend ho iss lyee tumko khun karne ke lyee meine koi paysa nahi lunga.


Dost tumhare tasbir jayada sms karke pathana. Card khelne baytha hai magar joker khoj nahi pa raha hai.


Nachna nahi janta hai uss lyee uthan baka hai
Atak ne nahi parta uss lyee jail faka hai.


Na chaha kar jisko pa jata hai…?
Na chaha kar bhi wo chala jata hai.


:kaunse karan par Bush ko jute mara, magar hum bibrata nahi hua?
:kaun bola Juta mara! Catch catch practice kar raha tha. Maga practice ke ovab tha uss lyee wo nahi dharna para.


:current dene ki baat karke aap ne vote lya tha magar 5 yrs me to ekvi pol nahi aya.
:current ki baat ki magar pol ki to nahi. Tab meine kya janta tha pol ke bina current nahi ayega.


And
Paa:tumko laath marne ke lyee.
Jadi tum mujhko vul jao.


Hum dono donoka haat dhor kar hat raha tha. Hathat ek kak ne tumari mathe ke upar de kar ja raha tha. Ye dekh kar tum bola vaggis garuone akash me urna nahi parta.


Ekbar chaha kar dekho chand ko le aunga, 1 bar bol kar dekho duraj ko par ke dega, 1 bar ro kar dekho sab jal much kar dega,ek bar has kar dekho sab daat fel dega….


1 soitan ek din khoda se bola he khoda aap mujhe itni kshamata dena jab meine har juboto ladki ki khun pi sakti hu.
Tab khoda ne bola jao tumko meine senora bana dia.

Short and Funny Hindi SMS Messages Collection
Admi:Sanglaap,Sangsad aur Sangbaad iss tin sabd par kaha mill hai.
Dusri admi: Sang se..



Hum log loadshedding par atak raha aur wo spider man kayse dewal tapka kar uth raha hai?
:na uth kar upay nahi hai, meine suna ek upar ki toilet par hi pani hai…



Teacher:bolo to kaunse jinis prithibi ki sab jaga pe ghurta hai magar ek kone par rehta hai.
Student:Dakticket.



:ek ailand ki naam bolo jaha par aap ekla raho to vi voi nahi lagega aur khana peena vul jaoge…
;Traffic island.



:urna janta hai magar koi dana nahi hai,rona janta hai magar koi aankh nahi hai-kounsi jinis?
-Megh.



Admi:bolo to dudh ki rang kiun saada hai?
Dusri admi:dudh dekhne par sada nahi hai saada rang hi dudh ki tarah hai.


Admi:vai mere flat par current nahi jata hai!
Dusri admi:keyaa bolti hai aap?
Admi:ha,nahi jata magar ata hai

Hindi SMS
Ek bhukha aadmi ghar me aa kar soch raha tha iss samay ek bati soup uski khub jarurat hai.
Us samay door pe knock kia,khul kar dekha ek balak aa kar bola mere maa bahut bemar hai uski lie ek bati soup hoga?
:meine ek baati soup ke bare mein soch raha tha aur uski scent har jaga pohoch gaye.


Ek log uski bari ki paas tree plant kar rahe the uss samay uski bibi aa kar bola kaya kar rahe ho?
:humlog khub baje samay par aa gaya, koi bhi sampatti log chouri karke nahi le ja pata hai iss liee mein tree plantation kar raha hu.



:dustbin kayse saste main bana jata hai?
:hamari nast TV ko khul kar sab fel de kar box ko hum use karna parta hai.


Hello jaan tum jante ho,tumko dekhne ke lyee meri ghum nahi ata hai. Sab samay tumari baat sochti hu.
'Meine Mitu ki maa bol rahi hu.'
'Ji meine aap se hi baat karti hu, meine Faisal ki Baap bol rahe hu'.



Tum khub surat ho. Tumko lyee sabne pagal ho jayega. Magar ascharja ki baat dekho! Tumko lyee sabne pagal. Asole tumare lalat mein sab pagal nehi juta hai, sustha koi vi nahi raha.




Bes katar sur karke tum bola tha, Tania tum mujhko agar saadi nahi karoge tab meine mujhko goli karke mar dega.
Ye meine kayse tolerate karunga? Toh meine bola,”iss place me nahi please, meine rakht ekdam tolerate nahi karta parta hu”.



Jiban mein ek aadmi ko keyeaa sabse jarurat hai- onek paysa, sundar ek bari aur ek nari.
Sabne thik tha magar nari ki baat kaha se aye!



Neela meine tumko payaar karti hu. Ha ha, maine tumko saadi kane chahta hu. Magar meri 3 bacha aur meri bibi raji nahi ho raha hai.



:Basant ki kokil ab sab samay kiun dakta hai?
:kiun ki ab sab samay clone phool pa jata hai iss lieye.



:Merudand aru Karadand se diference keyaa hai?
:Merudand sharir ko soja rakhta hai aur Karadand durnitibaazko soja karta hai.



:otitki smriti admi ko kiun rulate hai?
:kiunki ek kahawat hai na-“Puran chawal jayada barta hai”.

Short Hindi SMS
Thikana aur Ses Thikana ke bich par kaya farak hai?
-Thikana par parcel hota hai magar ses thikane par nahi hota hai.
 


Hajar paysa aur Crore paysa pe keyaa farak hai?
-Hajar paysa gush khane par mokadma hota hai magar crore khane par nahi hota
Hai.



Kobi aur Mohakobi par keya farak hai?
:Chakan khane ke bad.



Deshki netri aur logon ki netri se keya mill hai?
-uski badi netaone koi vi uske  paas nahi jata hai.



Ardhachandra mane Goladhakka magar PurnaChandra mane keyaa?
Purnachandra mane cross fire.



Ek shart par meine tumko karunga saadi,
Hamari ghar banega tran ki tin par, aab…?
-saadi ebar vangega,jail ki ghant tanega.



Aadmi: Makal fall aur Rajakar se keya mill hai?
Dusri aadmi: done ne unnecessary, magar hamari as-paas pare rehta hai.



:Smoke karne se keya dekha jata hai?
: Parakaal ki raste.



Kab ye samajhna ata hai ki Hindi cimem par diference ayaa hai?
Jab ek vi guli Hero pe sharir par lagega.



Arrest ki baad Politician pe mukh par jo haasi hai wo keyaa hai?
: Nirlajja ki.



Admi: vai aap iha cigerrete kiun khate ho?
2nd admi: mere paysa par maine khata hu, aapko keya?
Admi:aapki payse par khata hai to dhoa mere liee chorta hai kiun?



Minister: us log nahi bolta to ye nahi janne parta ki wo bridge bekar hai.
Dusri minister:chal us bridge ki loha lakkar bech kar khata hai!



Russia ki ek exam ke pass mark hai 5,4,3. 2 hoga to fail hai.
Ek student four chocolate le a kar teacher ki table par rakha aur bola sir mujhko 4 no. dena.
Teacher do chocholate le kar bola tumko jo dena possible hai wo dia.

Hindi SMS Messages
:chor vagne ke baad demag ki duar khul  jati hai kiun?
: kiunki,tab demag ki istemal nahi karna parta hai iss lie.



:politicians sabse jayada opochoy keya karti hai?
:baat!



:kaun sabse jayada aected,jongi aur neta?
:jongi neta ko.



Do log baat karti hai..
1st jon:aaj hamari paas keaya hai ja kisiko paas nahi hai?
2nd jon:humko past and present hai magar koi future nahi hai.



:sabne vejal ki bare main baat karti hai magar sab kuch me vejal hai kiun?
:kiun ki humko baat mein vi vejal hai.



:Albadar se hota hai Rajakar, Rajakar se kaya hota hai?
:Minister.



:meine konsi lu Valobasa aur Valo Basa?
:Valo Basa. Kiun ki Valo Basa thakle aap ne Valobasa vi paoge.


:True friend ke paas kaunsi side rehna hi parega?
:aap ke liee jo kuch vi karne ke side.



:”a friend In need is a friend in deed”-mere liee kaunsi sahi hai?
:Asamay ki friend. Kiun ki uske pas paysa loan lena jata hai.



:kaunsi pessa ki log aap ki paas hai to apki kshamata bar jati hai?
:Army force par.



:365 din agar friendship day hota to keya hota?
:har din friend ko gift dete dete bhikhari hona parta.



:payar ki antim miein saadi hota hai magar friend ki antim mein keya hota hai?
:Paysa le kar bhag jana.



:bondhu ke bina keya osombhab hai?
:jiban mein establish hona.



:ilish aur tengra fish ke andar keya farak hai?
:Tengra fish ke kantee bahar aur ilsha fish ki andar.



School par mara jata hai magar University par kiun nahi?
-School ke student ke pas Bomb nahi hai,University ki student ki paas Bomb hai.




Book ke pehle page par suchipatra kiun rehta hai?
-kiun ki modhe raha ho to usko dhundne par ek suchipatra lagta us lieee.

Hindi SMS Messages
Ek gari ki dokan ghur kar bibi ne romantic sur se kaha keya tum yesi jinis kin kar dega jiske niche pa dene se meter ki kanta 100 par uthega.
Swami wo bat yaad rakha.
Ek din baad swami ek ojon mapne ki machine le kar aye, aur bola tum to ye chahti thin na!


1st person: likha likhi ek “thankless job”.
2nd person: kaun kehta hai? Meri sab likha to thank ke sath ferat ata hai.


:shishu park mein bache log se jayada bade log kiun charti hai?
:bache log nirapod ki na, ye pariksha karne ke lie.



:”Bachne ke liee jan na parega”-keya?
:kiun bachega?



:”Durnitibaj log ko chod dia gia jail khana se”- yeh kiska lakshan?
: Election samne ane ke.



:kan tan ne se matha ata hai,magar pant tan ne se keeya ata hai?
:onek kuch ana parte hai-chor,thappor-lazza-hasna-rona.



:iss bar world cup mein apki pasandki desh kaun hai?
:meri pasand JMB(Japan,Mexico,Brazil)



Tin bondhu ek saat ek hotel pe baatchit kar rahi hai.
Andhe:dekh,glass ki pani pe kitni mayel.
Khora:Lath mar kar tor du kaya!
Bhikhari:De lath,jitni paysa lagega meine dungi.