Doctor Jokes are full of jokes about goofing doctors, stupid nurses and frightened patients. Some of them are about medicine while others are based on Doctors charging exhorbitant fees. Yet these jokes are very enjoyable and there are also some jokes about compision of Doctors to other profession such as Lawyers which are even more funny.
Doctor Joke
Nurse: Why are you sad today doctor?
Doctor: The patient I operated today afternoon died.
Nurse: Doctor, you didnt operate the patient today afternoon. You did a post mortem.
Doctor: Then who was the guy on whom I did a post mortem today morning?
Nurse and patient joke
NURSE GIRL—"Oh, ma'am, what shall I do? The twins have fallen down the well!"
FOND PARENT—"Dear me! how annoying! Just go into the library and get the last number of The Modern Mother's Magazine; it contains an article on 'How to Bring Up Children.'"
Submitted by sai on 22-Aug-2009
Doctor Vs. Lawyer Funny Joke
What is the difference between Doctors and Lawyers?
Because of mistakes Lawyers make, someone might end up hanging 6 feet above.
Because of the mistakes Doctors make, someone might end up buried 6 feet below.
Doctor Patient Joke
Doctor: I have some bad news and worse news.
Patient: Whats is it doc?
Doctor: The lab test results show that you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: Oh my God!
Doctor: The worse news is that I was tried telling this to you yesterday but your cell phone was unreachable.
Funny Doctor Quote
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A garlic a day.... keeps everyone away!
Doctor Nurse Funny Joke
Doctor: Did you take the patient's temparature
Nurse: No, I didnt take it. Is it missing?
Hilarious Doctor Joke
3 Things you must not hear the Doctor speak in an operation theatre.
1) Now if this is the kidney and that is the liver, what the heck is this?
2) Now where is Page 5 of this manual?
3) Shoo shoo black dog, come away with that piece, thats not your food.
Funny Doctor Joke
Doctor: Dont worry your health is fine. You'll live to be ninety.
Patient: But, doctor, I already ninety years old right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
Stupid Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I am having problems hearing with my right ear.
Doctor: What! You are suffering from fever for 5 days?
Silly Patient Joke
Lady: My son swallowed the can opener doctor!
Doctor: Don't worry. He'll be alright.
Lady: But how do I open the can of pickles? I need to have my lunch.
Funny Patient
Doctor: There are more than five hundred bones in the human body.
Patient: Ssshh Doctor! There are more than five dogs outside.
Doctor PJ
Why did the doctor learn art?
Answer: IN order to learn how to draw blood.
Hilarious Patient Joke
Patient: Doctor, I think I need to get my eyes checked up.
Man: You certainly need do. This is a restaurant.
Super Joke
Doctor: How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?
Nurse: A basketball coach?
Timing Doctor Joke
Doctor: You are suffering from depression. Dont keep anything with you that worries you a lot.
Patient: Ok doc, I just threw away your 'doctor charges' bill.
Nice Doctor Joke
Lady: Doctor, my husband is speaking in his sleep.
Doctor: Just allow him to speak to you during the day, he will become alright.
Doctor Patient Super Joke
Patient: Why are you checking my eyes while its my foot which is injured?
Doctor: I wanted to know what happened to your eyes when you left your foot inside the gutter.
Doctor PJ
Doctor: What? Your 'eyes' got a cold?
Patient: Yes doctor, I was wearing a cooling glass.
Doctor Patient PJ
Patient: Your are a lucky guy doctor.
Doctor: How am I lucky?
Patient: If you got a disease you neednt perform operation on yourself.
Silly Doctor Patient Joke
Patient: Doctor, I have went around the town but still I am not able to get the medicines you prescribed.
Doctor: So it was you who took my scribble pad!