Guest
Guest
09 October 2009 9:34:20 AM UTC in Jokes

Animal Jokes

Animal Jokes are funny and crazy jokes about cats, cows, lions, tigers and vampire bats. These jokes about animals are sure to tickle your funny bones. Animal jokes also contain jokes about birds and insects.

Hilarious Duck
The bartender says, "No, we have cherries and grapes but no olives."

"Oh," says the duck and leaves. Five minutes later the duck returns and say to the same barman,

"Have you got any olives?"

"I told you before, we have cherries and grapes, but WE DON'T HAVE OLIVES!" says the barman.

"Oh," says the duck and leaves. Another five minutes later the duck comes back a third time and again asks, "Have you got any olives?"

"Look, " screams the barman. "For the last time WE HAVE NO OLIVES!, we will never have ANY OLIVES and if you ask me once more, I am going to nail your webbed feet to the floor!!!"

"Oh," said the duck and left. Five minutes later, the door opened and there was the duck. The barman is absolutely furious. He slams a bottle of beer on the bar, stares at the duck and screams:

"WHAT NOW???!!" "Uh...uh...have ...you ...got...any....NAILS?"

"Nails? Nails? No, we haven’t got any nails," answered the barman

"Okay," said the duck. "So, have you got any olives?"
By (anonymous)
on 01 July 2011 11:40:12 AM UTC

 

Animal Jokes Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked "Any idea how to drive this thing?"


A Turtle was walking along a New York street when it was attacked by a group of snails.

When asked what happened, the Turtle told the Police "I have no idea. It all happened so quickly".
By (anonymous)
on 01 July 2011 11:39:16 AM UTC

 

Ants joke Ther are three ants swiming.
Two ants are swiming regularly and third ant put his left hand up and swiming why?
becoz the ant's watch is not water proof
By Harini
on 10 November 2009 9:49:13 AM UTC

 

Ant Joke What do you find in a beach where ants go?
Micro-waves!
By (anonymous)
on 01 November 2009 7:49:17 AM UTC

 

Dog Joke Which degree did the dog get?
A pedigree.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:55:52 AM UTC

 

Literate Bird Which bird wrote a book?
A Penguin.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:52:44 AM UTC

 

Strongest Bird Which bird is the weightlifting champion?
A Crane.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:52:09 AM UTC

 

Vampire Dog Joke Which dog do vampires like?
Bloodhound
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:49:15 AM UTC

 

Firefly Joke How do fireflies say tata?
Got to glow now.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:46:02 AM UTC

 

Donkey Animal Joke How do you pull out your front teeth for free?
Smack a donkey's back.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:42:34 AM UTC

 

Animal Joke Which dog will tell you the time?
A watch dog.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:35:20 AM UTC

 

Hummingbird Joke Why do humming birds hum?
Because they dont know the lyrics.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:34:46 AM UTC

 

Birds Joke Why do animals fly south during the winter?
Because they cant walk so far.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:34:08 AM UTC

 

Chicken Road Joke Why did the chicken cross the dirty road two times?

Because it was a dirty double-crosser.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:32:53 AM UTC

 

Chicken Joke Why did the chicken cross the road?
To reach the other side ofcourse!.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:22:45 AM UTC

 

Doberman Joke How do you give a tail to a Doberman?

Take it to a 'retail' store.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:17:43 AM UTC

 

Cat Vs. Comma Joke Whats the diff between a cat and a comma?

A 'Cat' has the paws before the claws while a 'Comma' has the clause before the pause.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 10:16:47 AM UTC

 

Vampire Bat Joke Male vampire bat goes in search of blood to drink and returns in 2 minutes with lots of blood in its mouth.

Female Bat: How did you manage to get so much blood in 2 minutes?

Male Bat: Do you see the black wall over there?

Female Bat: Yeah

Male Bat: Well, I didnt.

By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 9:39:43 AM UTC

 

Funny Cow 1: Did you see the news? The mad cow disease is affecting many cows making them to go mad.
Cow 2: Yeah, I saw it on TV. Thankfully it wont affect us donkeys.


Three birds walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
Bird watcher 1: What sort of bird is that?
Bird watcher 2: A gulp.
Bird watcher 1: A gulp? I've never heard of one of them before.
Bird watcher 2: It's a bit like a swallow, only bigger.
By (anonymous)
on 09 October 2009 9:36:24 AM UTC

 
(guest)
(guest)

21

Reply